Signs its time to change your life, is the second part series of embracing life changes. This will be a vividly descriptive post about change awareness. We might be aware that change is necessary. However, we might still not know how to embrace change because we don’t know the signs that its time to change.
I hope you are responding to life excellently and you woke up feeling like a million bucks! I think, you might need to have a sexy cup of proper green tea with you to keep you calm because this post might ruffle your feathers. So to speak.
Also, we will be doing a lot of imagination exercises just so you know. I want that beautiful mind of yours to stretch like a cat that just woke up. My intention with this, is for you to get my point clearly. So, close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Relax your toe nails and entire body. Swallow your saliva… just kidding!
I want you to imagine that you have a painful boil on your buttocks which is hindering you from sitting down. For those that have ever had a boil (I have decades ago. On the butt btw and it hurt like an insult from Donald Trump).
Anyway, if you have ever had it before like me, I want you to use empathy too. What would it feel like if you forgot it was on your butt and you accidentally sat down? What needs to be done for you to be able to to continue enjoying the blessing of a boil-less butt?
You guessed it right. It needs to be popped for that yellow disgusting looking thingy that is causing pain to come out. Don’t squirm we are almost done here. When you pop it, it hurts doesn’t it? As those dead white cells squirt forth yea? and if you treat it right it heals very quickly and you can go back to enjoying your butt whichever way you know best yes?
Well, I have not had a boil in decades. The last time I experienced it, I was left with a lesson: you don’t know the importance of your buttocks until you have a boil on it. Sometimes, you need to touch it and just give thanks. There is always something to be grateful about. Thank you for using your imagination. The point in case here is that, just like you would handle a painful boil, I will press where it hurts but by the time I am done, you will be fine and grateful. I promise.
Sip some tea please or your wine and let’s continue.
Facts About Change
It would be unjust to talk about why you need to embrace change in your life, while neglecting to provide some signs it is time to make a change and provide suggestions, on how to practically face life changes.
One thing I know about change is that it can be uncomfortable, unexpected and sometimes devastating but in the long run, it is the key that unlocks your purpose.
Facing life changes, especially when you master yourself can be easy albeit challenging, because the more you know who you are, your weaknesses, strengths, value and potential, the less resistant you become.
However, you cannot master yourself or become non-resistant towards outward circumstances, if you don’t have a clue about your Creator. This is a neglected fact that is so true to the core, that I could actually place a billion dollars on the table to bet on it. I mean may God forgive me if it would be wrong to bet on Him but there is no sense of direction in life without the one that placed you on this planet in the first place.
Also, just for clarification and I will keep shouting this to the rooftop. When I talk about God and Christ, it is not about religion. Don’t be the type of human being that goes with what people are saying and or believing in theory. Theory is just that, theory. In theory, an obese person can tell you how to be skinny. In theory, I can explain a phenomenon based on my experience, beliefs, feeling, attitude, thinking capacity, to establish truth. However, this does not make my theory a concrete fact.
So yes, according to the dictionary, religion is “the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods. A particular system of faith and worship. A pursuit or interest followed with great devotion.”
No problem about this definition but let me ask you a question. Are you defined by what people think of you or are you defined by how God sees you and you yourself? If I call you stupid and back it up with my “facts” does it mean that as a person you are actually stupid?
As a man thinks in HIS heart (not other people’s), so is he and so what you think of yourself that is EXACTLY who you are. Do we agree? Does the ability to define yourself make it a religion or religious act? Or knowledge of self?
Religion actually, is basic rules that a group of people follow under a religious system, that govern a form of worship towards a common god, to get some sort of privilege out of the practice. It could be the ability to sleep with 72 virgins in an apparent heaven, to have power, financial gain or personal desires while avoiding hell.
Let’s reason together here please. Is there any sense in worshipping someone or rather something, to get something out of it or out of fear of punishment? because if you are doing something to get something out of it then, when you don’t get what you seek that will make the thing irrelevant no?
I mean, if I would decide to become your friend because of what I can gain out of it and not because I value you, care for you, need your friendship and all of that shebang, would you appreciate that kind of treatment from me as a friend?
Also, if I would act differently around you because I don’t want you to have a different opinion of me but then behind your back stab you? Does that make my friendship genuine? That’s what religion is. Nevertheless, to each his own though personally, I think if I am doing something driven by self-interests rather than genuine concerns, then the entire practice is questionable.
Just like you, I assume, I do not like religion, I don’t participate in religious activities and I cannot stand it in entirety. If you have been keenly following my articles, you’ll see I said, Christ unites, religion divides.
Conversely, this is not a quest about my god is better than yours or an announcement that you are wrong and I am right. If anything, after a few experiences and extensive research I came to the conclusion that it is foolish for a kettle to call the pot black.
Plus no matter how many religions are developed, they will always lead to one fact, God is God and I think if you need to fight, kill, fuss, force or use anything other than Love for your stuff to make sense, it is highly questionable. I am just saying what very few are saying or rather boldly confessing. This has put me in trouble severally if you must know but I always come out alive.
Jesus, “is the way, the truth and life”. God on the other hand, is an extension of every living thing. He is in all things and above all things. Other than that, He is also a Father and His son the mediator. Leading to a divine oneness (United Version of living things aka Universe) through grace by faith. Equally important, Jesus did not die on the cross so that we can have a religion or act religious (Do and Don’t). He died so that we could have a relationship with our Father in Heaven and my main argument is that, to know ourselves VERY WELL, we need to understand our Creator. Then when we master ourselves, we can master the outward circumstances of life including changing times successfully. Without trial and error or guess work, which is time costly, emotionally draining and in most cases, can lead to irreversible damages.
So, ladies and gentlemen!! To be clear, this is not a religious blog post neither does this blog intend to participate in any religious activities. In case of anything or any misunderstandings.
RECAP FROM PART 1: EMBRACING LIFE CHANGES
In my previous post in case you missed it, I was inspired by the way the eagle is aware of itself as a bird and the measures it takes to make change in order to thrive further. The point in case was; if a bird can detect timely change and confront it despite the painful process, just to renew and advance in its life, so can human beings.
Then, I mentioned some examples drawn from my life observations to emphasize the point. My intention with this, was to encourage anyone that is finding it difficult to embrace change, to do it fearlessly. With Faith. Without apologizing, losing one self, selling short or comparing to a somewhat funk displayed on most social media sites.
The whole idea, was not to nullify the positive potential social media has but to highlight the possible detriments it has towards the progress of life in general and in most cases mental health.
After concluding, I figured it would be of help, to provide useful tips that I have applied myself and still applying, on not only how to face life changes but also how to detect it is time for a change.
Which leads me to putting out a disclaimer: I don’t have life figured out entirely. If anything, learning never stops as long as we are on Earth. I don’t know everything either. Daily, just like most people, I wake up a fool ready to learn something new. Notwithstanding and luckily enough, by divine grace, I know and still getting to know the one who holds the earth, heavens and everything in it. Any form of wisdom or rather useful information that you detect from me is not my own. I am nothing but a vessel standing on grace and if what I have applied and seen it work can help somebody else, that is how it is going down in history. No holding back and no apologies.
“The truth will set you free but first, it will piss you off”.
SIGNS IT IS TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Presumably, you are not going to face what you don’t understand. If I think in fast forward before I rewind back to the points.
I think, it is nice to know when its time for a change when you see it. To be in tune with not only God and yourself but also your environment.
Only then, will you be able to make the right decisions and act accordingly just like the eagle, to propel you to the next level.
Below are sure fire signs that it is time for you to make a change in your life, so that you can grow, increase in value and be fully equipped for your purpose.
First sure sign its time to change your life: everything will seem to go wrong.
You will get the Judas Kiss from your so called friends and surprisingly even FAMILY. You will go through a break up. Suddenly, your job will become frustrating. In fact, if you are working under narcissists with ego complexes, it might be worse than you anticipate.
People will walk out on you for no apparent reason. You were laughing with everyone but you will probably be crying yourself to sleep-alone. If you will be able to sleep at all. Doors will be shut to your face. Your business will frustrate you if you’re an entrepreneur. Some people even suddenly get sick. You will be the talk of town. The dog, will eat the only pair of Christian Loboutin shoes that you had… just kidding but you get my point!
When God wants your attention because He is about to answer your prayers and propel you to the next level, He will capsize your life to rid you off of anything that will be of destruction in your next level. To renew you with fresh perspective, wisdom, supernatural ideas, equip you with the ability to influence, turn your weaknesses to strength and restore all of your ashes for beauty.
Just like the eagle, the renewing process will hurt but what happens to the eagle after it patiently regenerates? It soars higher. Look at it as pruning a tree if you understand the biology behind the process or let me tell you a short story about how olive oil is made.
The olive oil production process, is based on two main steps. The first one is the one I want you to pay attention to. In the first step, it requires crushing with a stone as it gets collected in a basket. Secondly, while they’re in the basket after crushing, the basket is thoroughly pressed using pressure to extract the oil out of the crushed olives. Of course after the process is done, the olive oil is stored and the remaining parts of it are thrown away.
The same is for you. When you face either one of these disappointments or more, you know it’s time for the crushing process for the extra virgin olive oil. Nobody is immune to life changes unless they refuse to grow and challenging life changes are not there to harm you. They are there to cleanse your life and renew you for the next level.
The best solutions, come when we face and embrace change. No matter how difficult it may be. Also, if you know you would never be embarrassed about being successful whatever that definition may mean to you, neither should you shy away from the struggle. That struggle is part of the success story and you should treat it as you would success.
The magic, is where the problem is and to correctly solve a problem one way or the other, you need to make a few changes in your life.
While in the process, just like the eagle, if you read part 1, your beak will break, your talons will wear out and your feathers will weigh you down. When it happens, trust the process of your journey like the eagle and go in to hiding and wait for a regeneration.
Rest, Readjust, Regenerate and Resume. The process is equally important!
The second sign it is time to change your life: you will feel like you’re stuck in a rut.
After going through the aforementioned and I know you have experienced it all if not some, unless you want to pretend which is fine by me, you are now stuck in a rut or settling for less than you deserve.
Probably second guessing yourself or wasting time seeking validation from others who often if not all the time, will give you the wrong advice or straight up shove nonsense in your head. You will start wondering if you are good enough, valuable, worth anything, capable of something remarkable and you will even start asking God for forgiveness for something that doesn’t exist or something He forgave you in advance because you think you are being punished.
Since you’re asking the wrong questions the entire time, life continues to give you the wrong answers.
At this stage, that mind of yours has little to no serotonin, melatonin and cortisol and your thinking ability has been impaired. This in return will lead to making uninformed decisions or alternatively affect your communication potency both in prayer and towards people.
All of a sudden while you were the best at communicating and getting what you want, you will start rubbing people off the wrong way because you are frustrated, resisting, striving and trying to control the situation when your duty from the very beginning was to recognize it’s time for change and trust the process.
You accept the temporary situation, become cold and stop caring much. Even develop poor coping mechanisms like drug abuse. Seeking happiness and answers from the wrong source and activities.
Then, your dreams, goals and ambitions go through the abortion process. You start suggesting to yourself that you will never amount to anything and just like that, you spend the rest of your life defined by your outward circumstances that were just a mere signal of time to level up as Ciara alleges.
You fail to fully understand yourself, realize your value hence your worth, potential and as a result will never know your purpose or rather what was on the other side of change. I assume you may have heard that the graveyard is the wealthiest place on earth? Find out why and do something about it.
The third sign it is time to change your life: you have given up or feel like giving up.
After all that has happened combined with the prevalent feeling of stagnation and allowing yourself to be defined by outward circumstances, you settled in the mess and became comfortable. You stopped challenging yourself. Setting goals that scare you, pursuing your dreams, having the fire that you once had.
Instead, now, people, their opinions, TV shows, things and social media master you. The wrong perception and approach towards change led you to falling for the ignorant trap of “ignorance is bliss” and made you forget that you become a slave to whatever masters you. You built a house where you were supposed to pitch a tent or should I say, you chose to live where you were supposed to camp.
The fourth sign it is time to change your life: you are living but you died.
Yes. People can be gone as young as 16 years old and still live up to 100 years. It is happening today all over the world. People looking alive outside but are dead inside. I actually think, there is a huge difference between existing and living. Thriving and surviving. The sign that you are alive outside and dead inside is that: you lose compassion, empathy, moral integrity, interest in life, you stop enjoying and celebrating your little moments of victory and you are likely to announce to the whole world you are unbothered. This by definition is actually called: Anhedonia.
People with Anhedonia are the ones that do the gossiping, random killing, scoff at God, practice witchcraft, engage in illicit sexual activities, abuse drugs, focus on other people’s business more than their own, spend a lot of time on social media watching what others are doing and killing a good amount of useful time. They are the kind of people that have information about everyone else except their own life. In the work place, you can also encounter people with this syndrome and usually most of them, prefer to hire people that are incompetent so that they can feel they are above someone. Driven by narcissistic needs as I mentioned earlier and ego complexes. They care about nobody but how big they feel with a title slapped to their name and an ability to boss people around.
I humbly think, not until you can properly understand yourself and your life is perfectly together, never open your mouth to discuss about what somebody else is doing.
I get that life can be tough and can impair your decision making ability and thinking capacity but hey, if an eagle can get it together, so can we yes?
Otherwise, if you do any of these activities or your heart is just not right, you have Anhedonia and it doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. Neither am I mentioning this to condemn anyone. I mean if anything, I have passed through that stage of talking about people especially when I don’t like their behaviour towards others and myself. Though I would do it first to their face before I re-tell the story in their absence until I realized how toxic this is and how it indirectly affects my life.
The quicker you identify a problem and accept it for what it is, the easier it is to solve it. Check yourself and act accordingly.
Last but not least, the fifth sign it is time to change: your mental health is at stake.
Of course, the wrong responses, approaches and coping mechanisms are going to change your brain chemicals and as a result, its performance.
Most people, are not mentally ill, because they were born to be mentally ill. Keyword MOST. Meaning, some can have conditions they are born with etc but depression, anxiety, attention deficit disorder, multiple borderline personality disorder and the likes in most cases, are caused by either a traumatic experience, harbouring un-forgiveness, altering life changes or lack of control in a difficult situation.
Please, let me repeat, I am not trying to insinuate that all mental issues are caused by wrong responses, approaches and poor coping mechanisms. So don’t come for me or get unnecessarily triggered. I am strictly talking about the impact of resistance towards change, lack of knowledge thereof and how it affects your mental health.
Even your psychiatrist, if you find one that doesn’t want to make money off of your vulnerability and lack of informed decisions, will tell you why you are not okay and it will trace back to either fear of change or approaching change with the wrong strategy. Stuck in the past and refusing to move forward due to fear of the unknown.
I think, we are never going to be able to achieve substantial results if we need to cherry pick a problem. Let’s identify the problem for what it is and move forward to the solution period! Me trying to be politically correct here just so you can feel nice will miss the mark. It’s not about being nice but standing for what is right. I don’t believe in suppressing a problem but rather terminating it and for it to be terminated successfully, we need to understand its dynamics, accept it then confront it.
It doesn’t matter what stage of difficulty you’re in whether inwardly or outwardly. As long as you are healthy, alive and willing to be different, you still have a chance to turn things around. Mentally, emotionally, physically and in your environment.
I will tell you right now, based on experience and tangible results, not hearsay. The best strategy for facing any sort of change whether inward or outward, is through God. Relying on your own efforts and people, will lead to struggle, strife, emotional drainage, time wastage, numerous disappointments, confusion, stagnation, vulnerability towards dangerous aspects of life that are beyond your control, sometimes permanent failure, sickness and mental illness.
Also I will tell you, you don’t need to be in a certain way to go before God and ask for help. Go as you are. Frustrated, crappy and all. Nothing is more powerful than owning your faults and acknowledging that you cannot do it by yourself. God knew our weaknesses which is the whole reason why Jesus had to come here on earth and do something about it.
When you ask Him for help, He will give you wisdom to tackle the change you need to make, He will show you what you need to work on, He will comfort you, He will give you peace that will ultimately give you patience in your storm. He will protect you from enemies you didn’t even know you had, renew your mind, strengthen you – people will be wondering how you can manage to stay put in difficult seasons not knowing that it’s not you but Him.
What do you think makes the eagle realize it is time for change? It is the loving power of God that lives within all living things and beings. The eagle had a chance to survive until 40 years but instead it trusts the process and goes forth through a painful process. It breaks the beak and WAITS. Then the talon and wings. If an eagle can be sure, why shouldn’t we have the same faith? When we are more intelligent?
Embrace change, recognize when it is time to change and act accordingly.
In my next post, I will write ten practical tips that I use when it is time to leap forth when change comes knocking at my door again. I actually enjoy the process by further journaling and taking pictures for stories to tell later on not because i am confident in my own efforts but because I learned to surrender to God and I know He never disappoints.
So my challenge for you today is to take that leap of faith and start changing now that you know the signs.
Thank you for reading and keep it locked for part 3. Also let me know what your thoughts are about this and how you feel about such complex discussions. I mean we can talk about fashion, hair, beauty and all of that but you are more than that. So first things first!!
As long as you hang around here, don’t expect clichés all the time!! I like talking about “sensitive topics” and “popping boils”!
If you are in the middle of a changing process, I am rooting for you from my soul and I pray that God reveals His glory in your situation. Whatever it is. Keep pushing!! When you fail, fail forward. Failure is part of success and actually the best part of it.
When I run out of inspiration during testing periods, I go back to the process of Christ’s crucifixion. He got mocked, scourged and killed. Not a single time did He back down or even respond negatively when He was being publicly humiliated.
As powerful as He is, He could have destroyed those guys or defeated the entire situation in a jiffy but He humbled Himself and went through the process. Even if He died, He overcame death and He said the same power of resurrection is in everyone of us.
For something to resurrect it has to die. For a seed to become a tree and bear fruit, it needs to be buried. Never ever give up and don’t underestimate your crisis. If anything, protect it. Right there in your storm, that’s where all the answers you seek are hidden and your purpose too. That’s why when I see this global funk of people putting extra effort to seem immune to struggle, I quietly wonder who is kidding who… but to each their own.
Anyway, talk to you later and share this message with someone that needs it.